When strangers become friends, and lovers become strangers again…

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Last night, by chance, I had to fleetingly reconnect with someone who once held my heart. It was strange to speak to each other as strangers would, as if he had never known my secrets or fears, and I his. It got me thinking about all the people who have passed through my life thus far. All the strangers that I have shared an integral part of my life and soul with, only for them to fall back in to the abyss of this large Earth and become strangers once more.

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As a species that supposedly need connection, how do we go from the above, to the below?

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I know there’s pain involved in many instances, yes, I remember that all too well, but others simply drift. Like the school friends we haven’t seen or heard of since we finished our exams, or the work colleague we had an incredible bond with, whose wonder we forgot when we moved to another job.

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..and what about THOSE friends. The crazy, sociable, bad for your future but great for right now friends, that somewhere a midst the madness showed glimpses of beauty and friendship that you will never forget..but you had to leave behind, for your sanity, and your personal progression.

I think the hardest part is “re-becoming” strangers. To look into the eyes of someone you once loved, or a person you once bared your heart to as your closest friend, and see a cold detachment that time and distance has created.

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If I could round up all the people from my past, those who taught me valuable lessons, those who supported me, and I them, in times of need, and those who simply brought pure joy to quiet days. I would thank them, and love them just as I did before. The funny thing is, even those partings that were less than amicable suddenly seem irrelevant in comparison to cherished memories, when enough time has passed.

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I saw the above quote online and understood its sadness, but I say, hold on to the good. Yes its true, “friends become strangers” but instead of focusing on their leaving, why not remember the unadulterated happiness those same people brought, when as strangers, if but for a moment in this transient life, they became friends.

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“Before us lies eternity; our souls are love, and a continual farewell.”

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It’s been one year since I started this blog. Apt that I began it on Valentines day and love seems to  have dominated its content for the past twelve months, but what about today, one year on, where am I? Who am I? I am numb. Removed from reality.. self destructive? I know there’s a world out there that I don’t suit. I see so many people there that can’t possibly grasp this complexity, me. All who come to me pass on, and all I touch seems to sit stagnant. Have you ever felt a fire in your heart? Blue hot flames in your mind and yet you are powerless to express them, to heat the world you know so desperately needs your warmth.

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All I thought I knew is changing, all I believed is breaking down with love and struggle. I no longer know black and white, blurred is wrong and right. I watch the shelter of my life fall to pieces as the earth spins faster still and my soul sits stunned. Where am I? Who am I?

 

All I know is love..